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Spaceghidorah's Recount |
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Spaceghidorah's Recount |
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It's funny how things work out, a few months ago I had started thinking it might actually be fun to go back and finish the remaining Godzilla stuff I originally intended. The sour taste is finally gone. But then I came to this site again and saw there had been changes made. Great! I'm glad Des decided to unlock all the hidden characters, but sadly that's about where my enjoyment ended. Looks like Des thought she could get some measure of revenge against me by trying to be slick and not only change the password to this site we were supposed to share to make updates, but she saw fit to try and erase me from this site by removing my website url and my email info.
Not happening.
Fortunecity felt the same way I did. Considering *I* was the one who signed up for this space, that technically makes it mine. From the beginning, I was willing to share this space with Des. Even after our 'Falling', I didn't care if she came in and added info and whatnot, maybe even continue the stories. But since she doesn't know how to act, she's lost that privilege. I never once said the site was hers for the taking, nor did I give her permission to change the login information. Not going to happen again. And if she tries to hack into this site, or tries to sneak in and take over in some underhanded manner, then I'll take it back again.
Anywho... I thought about it, and you know in one aspect, Des is absolutely correct, the remaining people who do come here deserve to know the truth. However, it seems that Des felt people needed to know personal things about us in the process, since she saw fit to put my niece and grandmother's deaths out there for everyone. So be it, but it's just a shame she only told half of the story. The other half she told as I imagine she sees it, but what one perceives, versus the truth are apparently two very different things. Though I'm not inclined to believe that this is the case with everything she's written, some is just outright lie. Very disappointing, because if Des wanted to turn me into a villain, how hard could it be using facts? Instead she chose to fabricate things. I'm not going to waste your time doing the same, I'm disappointed that she would have to resort to that, but I guess felt she had to say whatever she could to make me look bad. Whatever. I don't care what the readers of this think of me, I do, however, care that you have a chance to read both sides and come to your own conclusion. If you read this and say "Wow, Spaceghidorah's a jerk!" then whatever. I expect you to think for yourselves, look at both sides, and decide what you think. Look at everything, there are things Des sadly didn't include in her 'explanation', but I imagine the emails I provide will be very interesting reading.. Anything irrelevant has been removed, as will be indicated by extra dots "...." Originally I thought posting actual emails was overkill, but it isn't, it only proves my point.
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Okay, let's have a quick wrap up of how things got started, from the VERY beginning...
I have a Godzilla site. You wouldn't know it because one of Des' 'final updates' was to erase not only my email from this site, but my webpage address as well. Not to worry, I fixed that little edit. But I guess it makes sense, here in Des' livejournal she makes reference to 're-loading' Godzilla vs Trajan and Trajan vs. the Eliminators. Now, why would someone bother going through all that trouble when all she had to do, if she truly cared about the 'fans' of the series, was to make mention that both stories are still right there on my webpage, and have been for over a year now? I dunno, you tell me. It's funny because there was a point in time where she asked if I was accusing her of stealing my art. In the context of that particular situation I said no, she had never attempted such a thing... But now, looking at this desire to erase my existence from this page, to take the Trajan stories, works that are MINE, ARTWORK that was ON the pages, and upload it to her webspace... what would you think?
But anywho, I have a godzilla site. It was fun when I first got it up and running, I enjoyed it, random people seemed to enjoy it. I had fun just adding whatever I could, whenever I could, the number of people coming to the site really didn't interest me, fame and internet popularity were never big concerns of mine. Then one day I got an email from a girl in Florida who called herself Des. She wrote to me about my site and said she liked it. I didn't realize it at the time, but I guess it was a big step for her to write me. There was a point in time, not too long after she put up her site where she asked if I would have written her had the roles been reversed and it was me who had stumbled onto her site. I said no, I see plenty of sites that have things I admire, but I very rarely bother to write them. At the time it seemed like an odd question, because honestly, who cared if I would have written her or not? Sigh, wish I still had that email... More importantly I wish I had seen her need for attention and kept her at arm's length.. or rather, at a further length. But hey, hindsight is 20/20. At some point the topic of going into business together came up, sigh, again another case of me being too nice and not wanting to cause problems by saying 'In business, with you? I think not." until Des decided to 'break it to me' that she didn't think we could work together in a business. Shock... and shock... I replied accordingly.
I told her about my Godzilla vs Trajan story, she loved it, she loved Trajan. Cool, I always like when people appreciate the work I do. Keep this in mind kiddies, it's important later in our tale...
She liked Gigan too, cool, and she had made up Gaiga. Also cool. She asked if I would include her in the story. Now, me being glad that someone took this much interest, said 'sure, why not.' I was putting a flashback scene in there anyway, why not toss her little character in there for kicks? Shouldn't have done it... Should NOT have done it... I didn't realize that in her mind, submitting a badly written paragraph with your character in it constituted you being names co-author of an entire story...
That's right ladies and gents, this is GRAND total here, ONE
paragraph for Godzilla vs Trajan. And don't let anyone tell you
different, read 'this'. One paragraph...
wow... And even THAT I had to revise and fix and finally just
said 'heck with it' and just chucked the name she gave me into
the flashback. I love how much Des likes to go on about being
'co-author' of Godzilla vs Trajan, and not very long after we
began conversing, my story somehow became our
story
O.o ! Gwa?
She sent me this chat she once had in the
Kbattles chat where she acts like she's the one writing the stories.
She swears she always kept things straight when people made these
kinds of mistakes, but as you can see... not always the case.
Gee, I wonder why people started assuming Des was writing MY fanfiction?
Someone actually recognizes that I'm the one writing
the fanfic, and Des acts like she's writing the stories right
along side me, then uses the story's popularity to plug her own
site. Way to network I guess...
The stories we rpg'd for Gigan Species... THESE
are "our" stories, these
she helped write. But Godzilla vs. Trajan and Trajan vs. the Eliminators...
see above. There was even a point in time where she swore if I
stopped writing it she'd try to finish writing it for
me! Wow, overestimate yourself much? The fact of the matter is,
Des was a footnote at most. In reality she wrote about 50 of the
24,000 words that make up the actual story. No creative input,
no editing, no conceptualizing, nada... What I did
try to do, was encourage her towards writing her
own stuff, even if Trajan and Gaiga were the subject matter.
The sad thing is, that seemed to have made things
worse since it seems very obvious she's convinced herself that
my character Daimon is hers. Oye...
I do give her credit though, she had a very keen ability to predict
what I was going to do with the characters in my Trajan stories.
That WAS very fun, though it was more fun to read her complaints
when I wouldn't tell her every little thing I was doing with my
story, or if I threw an unexpected curve ball...
The follow-up to GvT was Trajan vs the Eliminators. Just like my original intentions with GvT changed before I wrote the story (see the Intro section for more on that.) The original intention for that story changed as well. Originally, I was going to have Trajan be recaptured, brought back to the Nebulan homeworld, and have him destroy it. But, again I decided to be nice and encourage our friendship by putting Gaiga in the story. Bad move on my part, bad move. It tickles me that Des seems to think that she was such an integral part in Trajan vs the Eliminators. Yes, I do use Gaiga, I did make her the reason Trajan returned to the Nebulan Homeworld, and I blame myself for taking that step towards, what I thought, was bettering our friendship. Because I LOVE using my friends' characters in work I do. If they get a kick out of it, so do I, but my fatal flaw is always building up their characters a little TOO much. Whereas I probably SHOULD have just made a side reference to Gaiga being a random fetus in a jar, I decided it would be make her the center of attention, and now that Des so happily claims that she's the reason the whole story is entertaining, I'm sorry I bothered. I blame myself for being too nice to her. I should have nipped this problem in the bud with Godzilla vs Trajan and told her "I don't need your character, and I don't need your one sorry little paragraph. Thank-you-bye."
Now, I had randomly stopped by the now defunct G Project and seen their rpg board KBattles. It intrigued me, but not enough to really want to get involved. Des had mentioned that she had started rpg'ing over there and invited me to join her. I figured why not, it might be fun, right? I wasn't aware that she had talked so much about Trajan that half the people there either hated Trajan and were dying for me to bring him into the rpg so they could try to kill him, or hated me and refused to believe I was who I said I was the first time I went into their chatroom. But whatever, it happens, and at the time it WAS funny... still is actually...
It didn't take long for Des and myself to start fighting with them. People got pissed, people got mad about us either pushing the rules, or having better storylines than they did. And when they couldn't come up with a legitimate reason the last resort was to piss and moan about the 'golden era' of KBattles. Which I thought was funny because there was never a point in time when they weren't bickering amongst themselves. I guess the fact that a couple of outsiders came in and dominated things, and did it fairly, shattered the idea that they were an unstoppable force. Heh, ah, good times.
It was shortly before I started rpg'ing there that Des informed me that Godzilla vs Trajan was winning some award. Now the thing is, I honestly wouldn't have cared if I won an award, or if the trickle of people coming to my site enjoyed the story. I don't need an award, but I'm not going to lie and say it wasn't cool getting one. That was great! And I doubt it would have gotten the award had Des not talked about it so much. I told her this and expressed my gratitude. However, what made me look twice, and shake my head in annoyance, was seeing the title Godzilla vs Trajan - written by Des and Spaceghidorah. Amazing, somehow I had become the co-author of my own story! That was the first sign of things to come. I knew it was, and I wasn't happy about it.
I believe it was around this time that Des and I came up with Gigan species. See the Intro for all the details on that. I remember Des telling me people were writing her, that was great. Reading this, apparently she was told she was the nicer of us two... Wow, big surprise. I'm not going to lie, I didn't answer too many emails I received because I was gasp, working on stuff for the site. I was writing Trajan vs. the Eliminators, I was playing on a Transformers RPG, I was working a schedule that had me up at 5am and back in my house by 10-11pm. I guess I was a just a liiiitle bit busy, eh? But sadly, this site only perpetuated the problem.You've read Des' post and she's right, she DID correct people when they'd write and assume something I did was something she did. And yes, it DID annoy me that that was happening. Let me ask you a question. You spend a couple of hours working on an art piece, you're finally happy about it, you post it up, and then someone comes along and assumes that it was done by someone else not because of the talent behind the work, but because that someone was more vocal and chatty about your own work than you were. Apparently, this should NOT upset you, because you're partner's copying your style anyway. Shouldn't you be happy that so many people aren't bothering to give you credit for your work because they're assuming your loud partner did it?
Forgive me for not doing the Happy dance.
Silly me, how dare I feel I should get credit for the work I've done. But I don't think Des ever fully understood that my aggravation wasn't being directed at her, I was annoyed that it was happening; period. I believe I explained it to her here, here, and here. She just didn't get it, and in this email asks if I'm accusing her of stealing my artwork... Heh in that context, no. As far as her intentions to upload my Trajan stuff to her website in such a shady manner (i.e erasing my email and website address from the 'About the Authors' page) yes, I accuse you. As for trying to lay a pretty hefty claim to characters I created (i.e Trajan, Daimon, Gogar, Theromin), yes, I accuse you again. It's pretty blatant. But for someone who's never gone through that, who's never had a body of work assumed to be someone else's, she can never relate. She'll never have that kind of problem because she copies styles. No chance of it happening, she'll just received praise for something she hasn't done. There was nothing I could do to stop that, but what I COULD do was start staking a stronger claim to what was mine, and defining the line with what was not mine. Which leads me to the infamous Kaiju Wars EzBoard:
There was a point in time when GProject went down and the members didn't know what to do with themselves. I had recently started hanging out at a Transformers message board that had been set up on an EzBoard. It was nice, the boards were free, and they looked nice if set up correctly. So, I figured why not give the people a place to go? So I made a replica of the GProject board on EzBoard and pitched it to the original site's owner. If he went for it I would have made a KBattles board as well. I thought it would be hilarious to lord over the place, it'd be fun! But sadly the owner wasn't going for the idea and wanted to keep the original bland layout of his site, which I was fine with. Shortly thereafter, I decided that since things in KBattles were just getting ridiculous. How ridiculous, you say? I'll tell you this, for as much as Des and I fought the people on the boards, the chat and email battles were just getting so bad it wasn't worth the effort. I wanted to take the board I had made and turn it into someplace for people to go who were sick of KBattles.
Now, I guess because Des and I had Gigan Species, and because we had worked closely in KBattles, the line that defined what was mine and what was hers became so blurred she no longer bothered to try and make a distinction. How my idea to turn the GProject board I made into Kaiju Wars suddenly became our idea is beyond me. I imagined the same way she imagined that Godzilla vs Trajan was our story... Riiiight... If I purchased all the ingredients for a cake, added them, mixed them, preheated the oven, poured the batter, and Des licked the spoon, then it would be a cake that we made... It's the 'what's yours is mine' syndrome, something I THOUGHT people outgrew before they hit puberty. But this time I was not having it. See, the funny thing is that Des went on and on (and as I see hasn't stopped going on and on) about how we were supposed to be 'equal partners'.We all know what equal partners means, and in the creation of the Kaiju Wars board the LAST thing we were, were equal partners. Des herself refers to me as sole owner of not only the Gproject Board I made in this email, but of Kaiju Wars as well in this one. Now I searched through the emails I sent and not a SINGLE ONE coming from me to her says we were equal partners and splitting ownership of the board. If Des can find an email that states such, I'd love to see it. I'll post it and say 'Hey, so I did... and then I thought better of it since I reserved the space, created the setup, the forums, the graphics, I sent out emails, I put a notice on my site, and I did those now controversial icons." But anywho, Kaiju Wars was indeed created by me, I state everything I did in this email when Des started complaining about not being an Admin.
Des' argument was that she emailed people and yes, that WOULD have been a valid excuse... IF I hadn't also emailed lots of people, with the exception of Kitorah because Des had her email and I did not. We both had members of other ezboards follow us there, and anyone from Kbattles we actually liked received emails from us both. I love how she just never wants to acknowledge that. To me that wasn't enough to warrant Admin status, end of story. Now, for some reason she's claiming she made the icons... which is bs, because she did nothing of the sort. Why she would lie about that is beyond me. However, the pictures I used to MAKE the icons, those were hers because she asked me to use them and even said how much she liked them here. The truth is that I used them so she could clap her hands and think she had a some part in its creation. Like I said in this email, those could have been taken from anyplace, I could have used any picture I wanted from anyplace. So it isn't like the board would have had no icons without her pics.
So let's recap; I made the icons for K Wars. I decided that the board really only needed ONE admin, myself. The funny thing was that originally, she was FINE with it according to this. But then she pissed and moaned about it so much during one of our phone conversations I just agreed to make it stop. So to pacify her, I made her an admin and watched her bully everyone like she wanted to do on Kbattles. But now she had power! Now she could say "Do what I say or I'll ban you!" So I looked at the situation and thought to myself... why in the world did I let her bully me into making her an Admin? We were already butting heads on the way she was handling things, as seen here, here and here. So when she said she had lost interest and was closing her stories down, I busted her back down to a Mod, locked her stories for her, and began preparations to kill the board, because in my opinion, having this many fights over a stupid online message board was stupid. But apparently the ability to delete and edit posts, and have full access to the private sections and posts just wasn't enough for her. I had already told her I was thinking of shutting the place down anyway, and even told here that I'd close the place down before I let it destroy our friendship, because that's how important the friendship was to me. But by the time it was all said and done Des proved she wasn't worth remaining friends with, especially if this was how she was going to act over something as petty as an internet message board.
So poor Des would have you believe that she was aaaaallll alone and had to fight the oncoming Mongolian hordes while I sat on a beach in Hawaii, laughing maniacally because I left her with no mighty Admin powers... Please. It's funny how I never once received an email about these 'wars' that took place. Had she bothered to email me and say "Hey, so and so's being a troll, check these posts out." I would have gone right over and banned them. Apparently it's easier to email me repeatedly and complain about not being an Admin. Again, all she had to do was shoot me an email and say 'Hey, just so you know, jerko from Kbattles came over and is being a dork, I think you should ban him/her.' and I would have taken a look, and if they really WERE being jerks, I'd ban them. I guess not being able to be THE someone with the glittering ADMIN title just got under her skin. Funny, that's like a cop walking around with a badge, gun, cuffs and nightstick, but pissed that he/she can't wear the Commissioner's hat. Whatever, grow the hell up. At some point she told me she didn't even want people to know she was an Admin, she wanted to wait for someone to do something she didn't like, then jump in and say "Wahaha, I'm an ADMIN, BAN for you!" Uh.. huh....
Ah, the death of my stories... I was sad to see X of X degenerate, I was actually excited and happy about that story and I had some fun ideas, but hey, real life became more important than a cluster of godzilla fans on a message board, so Des did what she does best, bulldozed her way into the forefront. And honestly I didn't care, she kept the story (well, her character's portion anywho) going, and sadly it dwindled to like, her and Kitorah rpg'ing. I was hoping to continue it on Kaiju Wars, but between school, job hunting and various other things I was dealing with, I didn't have any desire to continue it. At first it confused me that she'd me mad about me closing everything on the board, even though she said she was closing her stories anyway... I guess she wanted to pleasure of doing it herself, she had to be the one to push the button. Now, had I *erased* everything, okay, I'd understand her being pissed, but like I said here, everything was left as it was, just locked.
Hehe, and while we're on the topic of silly politics, I guess
since she couldn't bulldoze me into doing what she wanted, she
tried a bribe. $40 deposited into the board, which was really
not a bright thing to do. Why would you do that and not email
me first asking if you should bother, when I had made it REALLY
clear that I was shutting the place down.
So let me get this straight, you find out a house you liked is
condemned, so what do you do, you buy a nice, new entertainment
center with surround sound for the living room and expect that
to stop it? It annoyed me because it was a pointless waste of
money, HER money, and there was no reason to do it. What did she
think would happen, I'd suddenly say "WOW! the board's all
yours Des!"
I think part of the problem was that when Des doesn't get what
she wants, she tries to force you give her what she wants. And
I wouldn't, which in turn prompted these tantrums. When THAT didn't
work she'd try to make me do what she wanted again, albeit a more
roundabout way, and when I *still* wouldn't do what she wanted
she got even MORE pissed. Tough. Honestly, I agree with Des in
that we were too much alike.
She wouldn't stop charging forward and I refused to budge.
Des' recollection of events seems slightly skewed, and that's a conservative estimation, and looking at this sad, exaggerated 'woe is me' write-up I see that, as usual, Des had very selective hearing... er... reading..
But onto me 'not being able to talk about anything.' A huge part of the reason the message board thing became as big as it did was because I'd ask her if she was upset, she'd clam up and say she was okay, then be pissed about it later. Then we'd email or talk on the phone and I'd know something was still wrong, but I'll be damned if I'm going to waste my time coddling someone who doesn't want to talk about something only they saw as a problem. Yet I'm a jerk who never wants to talk about anything right? She neglected to mention that we had a very tentative correspondence over AIM, and never once did she say "I'm still pissed about the KW board!" And since she never mentioned it, and I was done with it, I figured everything was okay. I suppose not, seeing as how she's tried to lock me out of a website *I* set up and erase me from its pages.
And call me crazy, but something about her knowingly using her now husband Chris(congratulations on that by the way) to keep me on the phone once it became apparent I had no intentions of continuing the phone conversation with her that strikes me as more wrong than usual. Do tell Des, does Chris really know he was your tool for that and who knows what else? Because I'm not going to lie, I liked Chris, he was really cool, and I can't imagine him being happy with that arrangement. If he was, maybe I misjudged him too. But then, you did say in your last written letter that he was mad at me for ignoring you, which I found to be... special, because Coddling you is his job, not mine.
I said REPEATEDLY I didn't want the friendship to end. I said
over and over and
over as things escalated that it was stupid
to let something as banal as an online message board come
between our friendship. But it was very clear to me that this
was inevitable, it was just this particular event
that signaled the end. If it wasn't about the board, it would
have been about something else. I would have created something
and she would have assumed she owned half of it, I would have
finally said enough is enough, THIS, is MINE. She would have thrown
a tantrum, I may have reneged for a bit, and then looked at the
situation and said "No, I am right about this."
and in that moment realized, you know what, if someone is THAT
petty, and wants to cause THAT much of a rift between us over
something this stupid, then that person isn't needed in my life.
And just like Des claims to know how to get under my skin, I know
how to get under hers. Ignore her, stop
bothering with her. Oooo it'll piss
her off so badly! She just refused to accept that once I decide
I'm done with you, I'm done. You're cut off and I don't waste
my time bothering with you. She's not the first person I've cut
off, and Lord knows she won't be the last. Des knew this, I don't
even recall how many times I've told her about people I've cut
off because they decided they wanted to piss me off. Once she
hit that point, I was done with her. My thing is, if you're a
jerk towards me, I don't owe you jack. Des felt otherwise, apparently
she was so mad she sent me a snail mail letter that said something
like "If you don't want to be friends at least be man enough
to tell me." I got that and though "This is hilarious!
Now THIS deserves a reply!" I'm so sad I didn't keep those,
I'd love to scan and post them... So I wrote wrote her back. That,
I'm guessing, is the so-called 'swear filled letter' she
refers to, apparently using 'hell' and 'damn' in the course of
a letter makes me a potty mouth! Well, I imagine if I am, so is she... Sweet googly, Des makes it sound
like I wrote a Richard Pryor routine and mailed it to her. I guess
me telling her to "Grow the hell up" makes me George
Carlin.
The most that *I* recall writing, there were some 'Hell's' and
'Damns' in there, as in : "Hell, I don't need you or anyone
else," or "I'm sick of fighting over this damn message
board." But to be fair, let me ask Des this, any f' swears
or s-h- words? No, of course not. I'll make an open invitation
to her right now. Rossana, do scan the letter, scan it and circle
the parts where I said all these horrible swear words and I'll
post it. Or, send me the letter as a scan and I'll circle them
myself and we'll count how many times I've said 'Hell, damn, heck,
whatever. I'll post them right up on this page for everyone to
see.
In regards to our friendship, oh yes, I certainly did reference
my best friend Mike a whole lot when we spoke, and every time
I did it was to illustrate how HE was my best friend, NOT Des.
But I've mentioned Mike to lots of people in regards to a lot
of different things. I think I said once that we were getting
close to the Mike bond... close but no cigar. I
can say this much, Mike sure as hell (*gasp, a swear!*) wouldn't
throw a temper tantrum about an online message board. I've mentioned
Lou and Molly to Des as well, people I used to call friends. These
were people who I also allowed to do work in the
book Des mentions. I do have a composition notebook I've been
toting around since High School that I like to have people write
or draw in. To me it's a great way to hold onto something creatively
tangible, you know? And yes, I only let people I considered myself
close to, to put anything in it. It certainly doesn't mean our
friendship will always be golden. There's about three or four
people I allowed to write in there, Molly and Lou included. They
f'd up, screwed with me, pissed me off and that was it. It's interesting,
it seems that Des felt a lot more for me than I ever did for her.
She says I was her best friend. *I* was her best
friend? Hum, you... you see where I'm going with this...? I considered
her a friend, yes. A close friend? Sure, at some point, why not,
until she started acting like a 5 year old. Best friend? Oh goodness
no. I think not, in no way did I consider her *my*
best friend. And the thing is, she KNEW how I dealt with people
who piss me off to no end and when you get right down to it, it
DOES take a lot for me to get mad enough to no longer want to
bother with someone, because I give them chance after chance after
chance to stop pushing me. There have been people before her who
I've been friends with, and when they lose their minds and start
acting in such a way that it's not worth my time or effort to
deal with them, I don't bother with them anymore. I've TOLD her
this, I don't need anyone.
ANYONE.
What made her think I needed her? Those words certainly
never came from my person in the time I knew her.
Did she think I lost sleep over not talking to someone who lives
a few hundred miles away, who I've only met once? She must
have lost some sleep, otherwise why continue to email and send
snail mail to someone when they've obviously cut you off? For
that matter, why try to erase me from Gigan Species?
Wow, in her 'explanation' she swears I *DO* need her? For
what? Do tell. According to this, Des
was the one who needed me. I'll give her credit,
yes, she *was* there for me during that year when
my grandmother and newborn niece passed away. Granted, I AM glad
she was there to talk to, and I made that known to her. But if
she thought she was the rock in my time of turmoil, then she can
take that bubble and stick a pin in it. I DID have other
people I that I DID talk to about it... My friends Mike
and Melanie respectively. And unlike Des, I don't hate my father,
I don't hate my mother, I talked openly with both my parents and
my entire immediate(note I said immediate, the rest of the bastards
lost their friggin minds) family were there for each other. Way
to overestimate yourself there Des, don't flatter yourself.
Sigh, so I was never there for anyone huh? I guess her ability to predict my story actions doesn't translate well into seeing what was going on with the real live people around me, who will happily disagree with her presumption that I'm 'never there for anyone'. Funny because just as she was there for me in tough times, I was there for her. As I recall, *I* was there supporting *her* when her favorite bird Joel died and she started freaking out about the taxidermist taking so long with him, when she was always fighting with her mother, when she'd lecture her about how she wanted to adopt another kid and replace her, or how she was going to cut her off and never support her... Or when she told me a bunch of her baby birds died, or when her Mom called the cops on Chris... I was there for her when she was upset because Chris' parents had to shut down their restaurant, when she had to deal with that loser son of her Mom's friend Javier, and when her Dad would suddenly decided he needed to 'talk' to her whenever he thought he was dying, when she was pissed at Chris for not defending her in some chat, when her Godmother passed away. I could, and should go on, but you get the point. So Des can spout whatever she wants about me supposedly never being there for her or anyone else, but she knows and I know... and now, you do too dear readers.
I love the part in her rambling where she says "The pupil
has surpassed the teacher." I LOVE this line,
because looking at it within the context, I think Des TRULY believes
that, just like she might TRULY believe that her recount of things
on this page are what actually transpired. I think
she's said it to herself, and to Chris, and to everyone online
so many times that she thinks it's true. She can think what she
wants, but I'd like to know exactly what she has surpassed me
in?
Art?
Writing?
Debating?
I'm not going to get into specifics... And though I'm tempted, I'm not going to post her current art vs my current art. That wouldn't be fair to her. Same on writing. As for debating, if she wants to fight with me on this then I'll post our interaction because the fans should see it as it goes down.
But I'm straying from point... More than anything, I'm just
flat out disappointed. I read through Des' post and figured there
could be a few explanations.
1. Des, for whatever reason REALLY wanted cheap sympathy from
people, so she presented the 'woe is me, I'm the victim' standpoint
and just... sigh, just flat out LIED about certain important elements
of what happened.
2. Her recollection of events is REALLY bad, I guess she didn't have any notes or anything, so she tried to piece together everything as best she could, plotholes and all... or, but hopefully not 3. Good Lord Rossana, TELL me you haven't convinced yourself that this is how things REALLY happened? Is this how you TRULY recall this? If that's the case, and it's turned into this soup of half-truths, lies and misrepresentations, then I take more pleasure correcting you than I originally thought I would.
I want to be perfectly clear about something. If Des gets in touch with me, and wants to continue this silly argument, or just talk like nothing ever happened, then she's welcome to email me. It's still the same email that I put back on this site and I still check it. We can keep going back and forth or, we can leave things as is, and from the looks of it, this is as good as it's going to get. Which is a shame because for awhile we were attempting a very tentative correspondence via AIM. But whatever...
And don't think I'm saying nothing good came from knowing Des.
I really did have fun fighting people on the message boards, insulting
people on mailing lists and fans who wrote her, rpg'ing gigan
species, and hey, Des introduced me to some good metal, King Diamond,
and lots of other music I might never have listened to. And THAT
was mighty awesome. But the fact of the matter is, when you get
right down to it, I really DIDN'T need her. It was GREAT, but
NOT essential. My life wouldn't have had some spiraling void had
she not been around.
She needs to get that through her head. She's done some great
stuff and I hope she keeps it up and keeps going.. but most importantly,
for God's sake she needs to let it go, it's been almost 3-4 years.
Or she can hold onto it, and challenge me.
Whatever.